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Lalit Niranjan
Friday, September 25, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
CLASSICS JOKES -- BARRACK OBAMA
CLASSICS JOKES
Barrack Obama vs. little girl
Barack Osama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the Osama. “How about What Changes I Should Make to America?” and he smiles.
“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know shit?”
=============================================================
Obama Jokes… Q & A sorties
Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barrack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.
Q. Why won’t Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It shows that he didn’t have a virgin birth.
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barrack Obama.
Q. Why will Jay Leno vote for Barrack Obama?
A. Because he’s running out of George Bush jokes.
Q. Why will Britney Spears vote for Barrack Obama?
A. Because she’s running out of other crazy things to do.
Q. Why wouldn’t Barrack salute the American flag?
A. It was ours.
Q. Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Osama?
A. Because Carter doesn’t want to be the worst President in history.
Q. Why is Barrack Obama so thin and scrawny?
A. If he were any heavier he wouldn’t be able to walk on water.
Source: Unknown
Lalit Niranjan
Barrack Obama vs. little girl
Barack Osama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the Osama. “How about What Changes I Should Make to America?” and he smiles.
“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know shit?”
=============================================================
Obama Jokes… Q & A sorties
Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barrack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.
Q. Why won’t Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It shows that he didn’t have a virgin birth.
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barrack Obama.
Q. Why will Jay Leno vote for Barrack Obama?
A. Because he’s running out of George Bush jokes.
Q. Why will Britney Spears vote for Barrack Obama?
A. Because she’s running out of other crazy things to do.
Q. Why wouldn’t Barrack salute the American flag?
A. It was ours.
Q. Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Osama?
A. Because Carter doesn’t want to be the worst President in history.
Q. Why is Barrack Obama so thin and scrawny?
A. If he were any heavier he wouldn’t be able to walk on water.
Source: Unknown
Lalit Niranjan
PLEASING A WOMEN
PLEASING A WOMEN
A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhattan shopping center. This store sells husbands, yes that’s right – women can browse men from floors of choices.
Actually, there are 6 floors of men, and with an increase in the floor level bringing a positive attributes… a nifty setup – with a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. Interesting, right?
So a young woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on he door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. “Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”
The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. “Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be further up!” And again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. “Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 9,999,999 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor only exists as proof that women are impossible to please.
Source: Unknown
Lalit Niranjan
A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhattan shopping center. This store sells husbands, yes that’s right – women can browse men from floors of choices.
Actually, there are 6 floors of men, and with an increase in the floor level bringing a positive attributes… a nifty setup – with a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. Interesting, right?
So a young woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on he door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. “Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”
The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. “Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be further up!” And again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. “Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 9,999,999 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor only exists as proof that women are impossible to please.
Source: Unknown
Lalit Niranjan
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
“THE LAST TEEN”
“THE LAST TEEN”
The very fine morning
My wife wished me
“Happy day of our marriage anniversary”
Amazed, Exclaimed, Overjoyed
I with a smile asked
“The Nineteenth one”
Joy disappeared
For a moment and,
We looked old in our eyes,
Our children under
Teen, were sitting
I, then pointing towards them,
Holding her in my arms, said
Look our teen age kids
Growing young, looking fresh like a flower
Our marriage, too
is like them, -
Now growing young
Come
Let us celebrate our
Last teen year
This year.
copy wright
Name: Lalit niranjan
This poem was written by me in the year 1984, the last teen of my married life.
The very fine morning
My wife wished me
“Happy day of our marriage anniversary”
Amazed, Exclaimed, Overjoyed
I with a smile asked
“The Nineteenth one”
Joy disappeared
For a moment and,
We looked old in our eyes,
Our children under
Teen, were sitting
I, then pointing towards them,
Holding her in my arms, said
Look our teen age kids
Growing young, looking fresh like a flower
Our marriage, too
is like them, -
Now growing young
Come
Let us celebrate our
Last teen year
This year.
copy wright
Name: Lalit niranjan
This poem was written by me in the year 1984, the last teen of my married life.
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